CRAAAAAZZZY.

So out of nowhere, my life has become hectic, crazy, and confusing.
I have this way of thinking, the way my thoughts run through my mind.
There's always so much going on at once up there. I'm thinking about art, then I'm thinking about what I want to eat, then what I'm going to read, etc. It's not ADD (well, hey I could have that too) its just that I have so much to think about.

People say I talk really fast. I don't hear this a lot anymore, and I don't know if my voice has slowed down, or if people just don't mention it. Sometimes I can tell when I'm talking fast, and if I can, I know that I must be talking at the speed of light if I am able to recognize it.

So all summer I haven't done a thing. Which has been nice, in a way.
I volunteered for a week at a day camp for kids.
I went to a mission/Christian camp for a week.
I've been working on an art project all summer.
and I've been trying to get a job at the local art museum.

Now the art project is what is stressing me out at this particular moment.
This is because I met with my teacher today. She said I could be finished by tonight, I told her she was crazy. I don't want to look at the painting, I don't even want to do this project.

Basically, I'm illustrating a 3-piece narrative of the Book of Job from the Old Testament. I was supposed to be a modern interpretation. But now it's also a journey through at history. The first piece is influenced by Byzantine iconic painting, the second by the northern renaissance (focusing on Bosche and Memling) and the third by contemporary illustration (I can't wait to do that one).
For the past week I've been trying to paint this icon painting, when I know nothing about icon paintings. I've been sitting in front of textbooks for the past week. I think my composition is excellent, I'm very happy with it. However, the rest of the painting (the colors, the background, the details here, and there) I absolutely hate. I want to start over, but my teacher would be pissed, and I hate starting over. It's very, very, very tempting though.

So that's driving me crazy.

My next week is crazy, I have something everyday.

I need to find time to do school supply shopping, not to mention buy clothes for school. I went through my entire wardrobe and weeded out everything I won't wear ever again and gave it to Goodwill (technically, its all in my trunk, but it will go to Goodwill, or Salvation Army, whatev).

I also need to finish my summer reading. Which isn't bad, only Billy Budd and Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which I should be finished with in no time. However, I began the summer saying, "I will read all my books I've been meaning to read." I think I've got a decent amount of reading done, but I meant to read so much more. I keep adding books to the pile. I'm a bibliophile. I'm terrible. I don't know how to stop. To top it all off, whenever I pick up a random book to dive into for a pleasure read, it ends up being really inticing (good because I can finish it faster) but ends up being a trilogy, or something.

School starts in 2 weeks, which seems far enough away. I'm excited, it's my senior year. I'll have routine back into my schedule. I'm afraid I'll be so busy though. I'm going to have a job, my fall play (hopefully I won't be cast, and then I can do production, but I have a bad feeling I'll get cast. I can't refuse an audition), an art class on mondays, and another art class on mondays and fridays. Not to mention Sunday School teaching, balancing my attendance at 2 churches (one's my church that I've been at since I was born, and one I just found that's more my style), schoolwork, finishing this 3-piece art project (ends Columbus day) and to top it all off: COLLEGE.

I don't even know what to do about college anymore. When I clear my mind, I see myself perfectly happy and at peace in Maine College of Art, or Savannah College of Art and Design (because I know I like these schools, and I think I can get in). But when I think about more academic schools: Dartmouth, Middlebury, and so on. I freak out. I don't think I can get in to these schools, I don't know if I can handle the academics, but I want a challenge.

I think a lot of it is also that I've been cooped up at home with my mom all summer. I was talking to my principle today, and saying the college stuff was stressful, and he was so easygoing about it, it made me feel comfortable and say, "you know, it's not all that bad."

I want to watch Gossip Girl, my guiltiest of pleasures. I want school to start, but I want to be done with this art project. I want the routine of a schedule back in my life but I want to finish my books.

It just seems that there's so much. And yet, I still love my life.

So...I'm a whore...a Shakespearean whore

This week has been INSANE. And the next three weeks will be the same to boot.

So this week, I volunteered as a counselor for "Culture Camp" where kids from new American families as well as American kids have fun and meet each other. Do what kids do best.

I'm just so glad its done. There were some cute ones though. Most of it was just hard work.
One girl did tell me that I was her favorite counselor, and of course, that's always a heart-warming type of feeling.

So, Thursday night the advisor from my drama club calls up and I don't have the slightest clue why.
Turns out, our dear friend had to go to the hospital due to her very serious illness, the poor girl.
However, she was playing Bianca in Othello which went up Saturday, and had another show Sunday (as well as the following weekend, but she would be out of the hospital by then). So she asks me to fill in for her.

I print out the script, at the same time, checking my email. Amongst the piles of craziness in my inbox (a combination of Collegeboard, SAT, Johnny Cupcakes notices, Sephora and Barnes & Nobles benefits as well as serious mail) I receive an email regarding an art project I'm working on over the summer (which I've been procrastinating too). My "coach" for this gives me all this helpful info.
At the same time, I realize: Fuck, what am I doing.
Not only do I have to select a thesis to support with my artwork, as well as critical writing, but I need to go on a spiritual adventure seeking out scripture to illustrate in a modern way. So I have to find passages in the Bible (4), now, all with a theme. It really sounds so basic, but it went from illustrating stories from the Bible in a modern way, to intense thesis proving bonanza.

So I print out Othello, mentally remind myself to sit down with my Bible for the umpteenth time, and hit the sack. Next day I wake up, go to camp, from camp I go home, eat dinner, and then go to a nice outdoor-bonfire-read-through with the Othello cast. Somewhat relaxing, if I didn't bother to say, "I'll help," when they needed to get the flats out of the shed. The very small shed crammed with anything you can imagine. There was a wood stove in there.

Then today, Saturday, I wake up, head out for a car wash at 9 am for the same theatre company that is doing Othello. Mainly because my ride said I'd come. We ended up shutting down the carwash early because we only made $50 and fight call was in 30 minutes, 30 minutes away.

So my friend, and my ride, and I grab some food across the street at Hannafords, drive to the outdoor recreation area, which has a pavillion where the show is being performed. I didn't get home until 8 tonight, and I just sat down and watched the Princess Diaries 2 on tv (now I want to fall in love with a prince charming, thanks Disney).

Overall, I've been having a great time each individual day. I've just been on the go since Monday, and I need rest. I need to find time to pack as well as some way to get to the mall so I can buy this stuff for my hair! Tomorrow I'm going to church, my friend is picking me up at church, we're going to Othello, and I am coming home God knows when. Then, Monday I leave for a week-long mission camp. Thankfully, I'll be able to rest on Saturday when I return (although I'll need to have a photoshoot with a friend of mine for her project) before I go to church, Othello (to watch) and Othello afterparty on Sunday, which will be more relaxing, but still busy.

After that I have meetings for that art project, my mom's getting surgery, and I STILL need to finish my summer reading for school. aaaaaaaaaah.

Not to mention get a job, which is an entirely different story.

Othello tomorrow should be fun though, because now I know what's going on. Today I was like a deer in headlights. The nice boy (technically man) who played Cassio was so sweet, bless him, he totally saved me, directed me, and helped me. I just told him I was going to follow him and roll with it, God bless him.

Funny story about Othello though, is that I was getting hives from something in the grass there. Not to mention that I got a sunburn because I was stupid today and didn't put on sunscreen, when I have every other day this week.

We did at one point come up with some interesting ideas. I was with my friend (my ride) who is also the stage manager the whole time, because I only kinda-sorta knew the people in the cast, not well enough. Well she at one point hollered that we would run any scene with Cassio and Bianca, while another scene was being run through. No one really listened. However, the idea of a spin-off Othello show, Cassio and Bianca, came up. Hamlet has the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern show (and movie). At the end of the night though, the idea came up that Cassio should have a blow-up sex doll for Bianca, and he would speak her lines. It was cute, and I really enjoyed that.

It was a breath of fresh-air to be doing some sort of theatre, even though I'm still a little jittery from the nerves. Filling in is hard work.

She's a Black Footed Bohemian Girl

As my premiere blog post, I think I'll ramble about what recently seems to be racking my brain.
I say racking, quite literally, in the tortured sense because this week is Tech Week. I'm in my high school's drama club, where no one comes to the shows, there are barely any students in the club, and I've been unopposed in the elections for Presidency for the past two years. I like to act, but sometimes I prefer taking the back seat in a production, for example, Stage Manager. Maybe I'm power hungry, but I love stage manager.
This spring, however, we're performing Twelfth Night. I adore Shakespeare, so I immediately took up the challenge. I also end up performing in every spring show: I've only been in one fall show, and I really didn't enjoy it. I'm not totally enjoying Twelfth Night, but I think I'm comparing it to the past spring shows. One, where I found new friends, discovered my new favorite author, and, with the green attitude of a freshman, laughed at every single one of the seniors' jokes. The other show had the greatest cast I've ever worked with, I was not single, and there was a dog. Twelfth Night lacks a dog, a boyfriend, and the innocence of freshman year.
I play Maria, the troublemaker, the knieving, "shrew" if you will. We decided to go Leonardo diCaprio in Romeo and Juliet and set the play in present day. So, being the witty and free-spirited woman, I'm Bohemian. And barefoot.

Now if you dance, or have any stage experience, you'll know where I'm coming from.

Where the fuck does all the black crap come from???
The stage looks decently clean, and how on earth does that paint END UP ON YOUR FEET?

I wondered this in ballet. It's really a rational explanation.

Black feet however, are bothersome. And washing those feet is even more bothersome.